Money, money, money...

First off, this is being updated on my phone via email. So blame spelling and grammar errors on predictive text!

So, then. The credit crunch. Sorry, but it's bollocks. As far as I'm concerned we've been in a recession for 25 fucking years. I've never had money to plough back into the economy, I've always been screwed over by the tax man and... Well, you get the picture.

But the main beef I have is the man who told everyone we need to stop borrowing so much and get out of the loan culture for the good of the country (my words, not his). Gordon fucking Brown. The man who, as Chancellor, borrowed like fuck and increased our country's national debt. Yeah, you're in such a fucking great position to preach about frivolities with money, aren't you?!

So where does the new budget leave us? Well, I'm no financial expert, but I can't see it making much difference to me. We're likely to pay through the nose for it in the future, too. That doesn't mean I trust the Tories, either. I'd rather have the Monster Raving Loonies in charge, to be frank.

We'll just have to see how it all goes, I guess. Just pray this record national debt we're heading into doesn't turn us into a third world country. Sponsor a British child charities, coming to a wealthy country near you.

I don't like cricket...

This post comes on the back of watching highlights (snigger) of England's latest failure in India. Well, latest failure would've been just as apt. What is it that makes them so bloody useless? Once again the top order fail to make a big score and the middle order... Well, I don't need to say anything, do I?

It says it all when you're left watching the bowlers throw the bat about in a much better attempt to get the total looking somewhere near respectable. Although I'd rather see Samit Patel get a chance further up the order, but them that pick the team and that know more than I do. Apparently. Broad made a decent effort with the bat, too. I'm not going to pick on the bowling, as rough as some of it was at times, except to say one thing. Harmison. Useless Geordie tosser.

Anyhoo, my main gripe is with Flintoff, Collingwood and Pietersen. I'll leave Bell out of it, because we all know he's fucking shite. But the other three really should be doing much, much better. Collingwood's dismissal was weak and Freddie and KP (Copyright the media and everyone else stuck up their arses...) still haven't learnt to bat properly. It says a lot when their best innings have come when they've played defensive shots when needed, taken their time and built and innings. And the big shots have been effortless, unforced and done without too much thinking (arf...) and planning. Yet 95% of the time they think they can win games on their own, don't have to play proper shots and can fuck around to their hearts content. It might work against Bangladesh but it doesn't work against a team that's just recently made Australia look shite.

5 ODI's left before the Tests? It's going to be a long series...

On a lighter cricketing note... Robert Key and Suresh Raina... Surely separated at Birth? The Keys must've had an Indian milkman, I'm telling you!

Finally, a brief footballing interlude. FC United played Guiseley yesterday in the Unibond Premier Division, sorry, Northern Premier League Premier Division, in Guiseley. It seemed a nice little town, just a shame about the Leeds Service Crew nuggets who decided to show up and kick off with a non-league family club. Funny how they only turn up when they know the odds are in their favour? Thankfully the police were well on top of it all and it got no further than a lot of shouting and arm waving.

On the pitch a hard-fought 2-2 draw was an excellent result, although we should've won really. But you can't complain. We'd have lost that game a few months ago!

And this really is the final point... I'm now a qualified First Aider. Scary or what?!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get my bat and do a bit of practicing. If that shower can represent their country...